DominoKeys.com

The following article is provided for entertainment purposes only. It is not an accurate psychological review.

I did it. I finally moved my Windows start bar from its default position to the top. As a Mac user, I just got sick of looking for the clock in the upper right corner and not seeing it there when I was in Windows (using Parallels in full screen mode). I avoided doing this because I didn’t want to be “that guy.” It sparked a brief conversation among people in the office where the following, highly scientific, system was devised that describes you based on your Windows start bar location:

Normal desktop and start bar location
You’re a typical Windows user.
Exception: If the placement of your start bar is at the bottom and you have many odd icons near the clock (like weatherbug, an American flag, etc.) or a desktop background with cats on it, you are probably 27 days away from having so much spyware on your computer that you won’t be able to get much done. Also, if you refer to your desktop background as your “screen saver” you are both a normal Windows user and highly unaware of the labels your operating system provides for its features.

Double (or more) start bar size
You most likely have no clue how it got there and have just decided to live with it. You’re afraid to ask IT, ’cause let’s face it, they’ll just fix it in an instant and you’ll feel stupid. When others notice it you say “yeah, isn’t that neat?”

Side start bar location
Your a moron.
Exception: OK, you might not be a moron, maybe you just can’t remember how you got it there. See “Double (or more) start bar size” for more.

Top start bar location
You’re “that guy.” You know exactly how the start bar got there and think you’re pretty clever for having figured it out. You’re tempted to install Linux somewhere but secretly scared at all the “root” stuff you keep hearing about. You often drag your mouse to the bottom of the screen and then realize the start bar is at the top – right where you put it. For a brief moment, that frustrates you – until you think about how many people have been seemingly impressed at the fact that you know how to move it.
Exception: You’re a Mac user who has to use Windows for some odd application that isn’t available on a Mac. — Right? I can justify the fact that MY start bar is there based on that? Can’t I?!